When it comes to human motivation, much of psychology has leaned on models of reward, probability, or rational calculation. But there is another way to frame the question, one that places pleasure and suffering as the twin engines of human action, and goal-setting as the navigation system that channels them.
1. Two Engines: Pleasure and Suffering
At the most fundamental level, human behavior is propelled by two forces:
- The pursuit of pleasure and growth: the desire to expand, explore, and reach new states of fulfillment.
- The avoidance of suffering: the drive to escape patterns that consistently produce pain, shame, or frustration.
Neither engine operates in isolation. At any given moment, both are at work in different proportions.
A simple example: eating a meal may begin with the avoidance of suffering (hunger pains) but ends in the pursuit of pleasure (taste, satiety).
2. The Gradient of Motivations
It is tempting to divide goals into two neat categories: vital (linked to survival) and non-essential (art, leisure, self-expression). But this is a false binary. In reality, motivations exist on a gradient between these poles.
- At one end, goals are nearly vital (finding shelter, eating).
- At the other, they are almost entirely detached from survival (exploring abstract art, playing music).
Most of our pursuits fall somewhere in between: they are not required for immediate survival, yet they carry weight in our sense of identity, meaning, and belonging.
3. Short-Term Rewards vs. Long-Term Growth
A central distinction lies in the feedback loop:
- Short-term pleasures (eating, sexual gratification) are highly predictable and quickly reinforced. The brain has repeated proof that these actions lead to immediate reward.
- Long-term goals (mastering a skill, building a career, writing a book) are more uncertain. The feedback is delayed, fragile, and often filtered through external factors (recognition, audience, market).
This explains why short-term pursuits are easy to sustain, while long-term goals often collapse under procrastination or doubt.
4. Why People Change: The Role of Suffering
So what makes someone override the pull of short-term rewards in favor of longer, uncertain paths?
The answer lies in suffering as a corrective force.
A person will rarely change when their current behavior delivers more pleasure than pain. But once the balance tips—when the suffering generated by a pattern consistently outweighs the joy—change becomes almost inevitable.
In other words:
As long as the candy comes without the slap, the behavior remains. But once every candy is paired with a guaranteed slap, even an uncertain alternative starts to look attractive.
This is the paradoxical power of suffering: it doesn’t just paralyze—it can redirect.
5. The “Child Walking” Principle
There is, however, another way forward that does not depend on suffering: the reinterpretation of failure.
When a child learns to walk, each fall is not a reason to quit but a proof of progress. It is ruling out a sets of behaviors that does not work. The fall confirms that they are in motion, experimenting, learning balance. Adults often lose this framing: a failure becomes evidence of incompetence instead of evidence of learning.
Reclaiming this principle is essential for long-term goals. Every setback in writing, painting, business, relationships, … is not an obstacle, it is a sign that the system is already running.
6. Towards a Theory of Objectives
From this emerges a more comprehensive model for setting and sustaining goals:
- Recognize the dual engines. Goals are powered both by pleasure and by the escape from suffering. Acknowledge where on the gradient your motivation lies.
- Track the feedback loop. Short-term goals thrive on predictable rewards. Long-term goals require either repeated experience of eventual payoff or a strong vision to bridge the delay.
- Leverage suffering wisely. When current behaviors consistently produce more pain than joy, they naturally lose their hold. This creates space for alternative patterns to take root.
- Reframe failure as proof. Adopt the child-walking lens: each fall is not the end, but part of the evidence of growth.
- Anchor in growth. Like a tree, human beings expand because they can. Growth is not optional; it is the natural expression of potential.
7. The Balance of Joy and Struggle
The art of goal-setting is not about choosing between pleasure or suffering. It is about balancing the two engines so that each fuels the other:
- Suffering redirects us from destructive or stagnant patterns.
- Pleasure pulls us toward expansion and creativity.
- The reinterpretation of setbacks ensures that forward momentum is not derailed by temporary pain.
In this way, objectives become less about “chasing rewards” or “avoiding failure” and more about aligning with a natural rhythm: growth where possible, redirection when necessary, and perseverance through the falls that mark the path forward.
✨ In short: A fulfilling life is not one without suffering or without failure, but one in which both are integrated into the forward motion of growth.